Jesus came to pick them up.

As we are learning more and more about God and His son, Jesus, R and I are able to have conversations. She couldn’t be more excited to go to Heaven. While I try to help C visualize how beautiful Heaven will look, and not to be afraid, her sister is pumped, ready to meet Jesus and God when it is her time.

“Jesus came to get my friends when they were sick,” R told me. I wondered if I heard her right. All I can do is listen and pray for her sweet heart. I don’t know what it looked like for her. Did she watch them die? When I told her Mamaw died after our visit with her, she ran around the house. “Mommy, this is how Mamaw is running in Heaven.” She ran with fierceness in her eyes. “Yes, sweet girl, no more wheelchair, no more bed, she is probably running.”

Who knew God would bless me with a little girl that would teach me such life lessons. My sweet little 7 year old girl, who knows that Jesus will sweep her off her feet when it is her time. She is certain nothing on this earth is forever. Her confidence is inspiring.

Our Daily Happenings.

So what do you do during the day?

When we brought 3 of our children home, I knew I wanted them home with me the first year. It has been the must fun, challenging, rewarding, God seeking time of my life. I could not stand the thought of R getting to know her teacher better than me. So there you go. It is a selfish decision. I want to really know who my baby is before I send her off to school. We have become quite the pair, and I would not change our time together for anything. Please know that I fully support it putting your kids in school! I understand working mamas, and I also understand the need for some kiddos to be in school right away. For us, staying home has been fulfilling and a must. We needed to work on being a family first. We are also reading the Bible together. I love the knowledge they are gaining.

R is adding and subtracting like a champ! She loves using manipulatives and once she’s done she can eat them right up!

Sensory work is important for all kiddos. We play with playdoh and sand a lot. She loves to build houses for her little people. Kwik Sand is way fun for all kids!

We play in the snow too! Playing is a child’s work. Last time I won the snowball fight of course, but generally I’ll let them hit me once or twice.

 

They kids LOVE to cook, bake, generally hang within 2 feet of me at all times 🙂 I took a picture the other day of all 5 of my littles with their toys in the kitchen. We have two play rooms folks, what the heck?!? I want my boys and girls to know how to cook themselves a meal. I want them to be able to serve others and cook them meals, so we are starting young.

I took a sensory class at Created For Care. A lot of people are under the assumption that sensory activites are for children with sensory problems. And while that can be the case for some, all children should be involved in sensory play. It is good for them. It is a pain to clean up. I am not even sugar coating this for you one minute. A PAIN! But my kids have to use their hands and learn a little, so get your act together, Amanda.  S finally learned how to put on his seat belt. It only takes him 20 minutes so we are in the car for a lot of our days now.

The amazing Kathy, from www.thehomegrownpreschooler.com taught the sensory class at C4C. I came home and got my act together. The boys went wacky wild kool-aid style on their bathtub with some food coloring and shaving cream. They even drew letters in it. They laughed and learned and created. My older girls also enjoyed this activity.

His children first.

Why the name?

I am embracing the fact that all 5 of my children are not really mine. They are His first. They are God’s children. When I make this a point to live by, I parent each one of my kids differently. My dream for them becomes that each one will disciple. However that looks is fine to me, and it is quite refreshing. They can become teachers, coaches, receptionists, mail carriers, construction workers, or missionaries. Whatever their dreams may be.

At the beginning of the school year, I always sent home a vital piece of mail to my parents. I wanted them to share with me their expectations of me as their child’s teacher. Let’s be on the same page here. That was important. I needed to know how each of my students would best learn and their parent’s expectations would begin that journey.

I know God’s expectations. Do I fulfill them all the time? No. But I must try. Parenting for me gets easier when I know His wishes. Showing our children not to serve money. Loving their neighbor to a fault. Telling the truth. Being content with what they have now. Not being jealous. Forgiveness.

Handing over ownership of anything causes me to struggle. I ultimately want to do it, but I find it so hard to do. My rules for my kids, I think. But they aren’t mine, and I must remember that. Many people share their children. I’ve been truly amazed by some people I follow on instagram (larner7). One shares her daughter with her daughter’s birth family. She drops everything if they come in town. It is a beautiful thing to witness.

I’ve watched my best friend share her children for years now. She divorced her husband and had to start sharing her children with the dreaded step-parent (the other woman ended up not being so dreaded after all). In the beginning, my initial thought was she surely couldn’t love her children as much as I love mine. Isn’t that terrible? How could she share them so well and love them too? I started to see she loved so much that sharing them well was their best life. My best friend realized early on that her children were not completely hers. She inspires me.

As an adoptive mother, I struggle with sharing 3 of my children with another woman. We don’t see her. They don’t remember her. It doesn’t change that she grew them in her belly, and they were her’s first. She will always share them with me. It is their best life to be shared well. It is my best life to share.

If I work on seeing my children as His first, I will do better by them. I will parent them with the knowledge that ultimately they are His. His expectations become my job to fulfill. His children first.

She blew out her candle.

Our oldest daughter is home. God pulled through, just like He always does. He opened the door right when I wasn’t expecting it. The wait was good for me. I can’t believe I can actually say that now. I had to change, and God needed time to work on me. Rosalie is incredibly amazing. We are so much alike, I often laugh out loud with God. We are the same, Father? You wrote this story so beautifully. Now, this story had a lot of tears, friends. I cried a lot. I walked through some dark days, but some of the best stories have conflict.

She told her brothers Friday night that pizza came and all 3 sat down for a fun dinner. Then she yelled, “Just kidding, guys, you can go play, no pizza. I just wanted to see if you guys would really come.” She jumps out around the corner to scare anyone who is willing. She ties her brothers’ shoes, kisses them at night, and carries Sebastian everywhere his heart desires. Her and Cealy are best friends, but also sisters. They argue and stick out their tongue, but rarely let each other go to the bathroom alone. Yes, I constantly pinch myself. Life is so good. She has stolen my heart. I’m in complete awe of this incredible daughter I share with so many.

I say I am sorry everyday. I am sorry for leaving her behind. I am sorry for leaving her alone and taking her brothers. I am sorry for so much, because when you adopt an older child, you carry around their pain. The pain of not having a mommy for so long. The pain of not having anyone when you were sick. I’m so sorry that when you got hurt I wasn’t there. The pain of leaving everything you know. She is incredibly resilient, and for now is so darn happy. I keep thanking God. Really? This plan of yours is way more than I could have ever dreamed.